AMRITA - USA
The Shadow - A Superpower
I awakened to my sexual energy from a very young age, but not knowing how to talk about this, I felt alone and abnormal, which created shame and guilt. Suddenly finding myself in a woman’s body at the age of 11, and the object of desire for others without being fully grounded in my own identity only added to my confusion.
The irony of this situation was that while on the inside I felt ugly and unlovable, I quickly learned how to use my sexual energy to manipulate and control, seeking validation outside of myself to fill the emptiness inside. I became the Unhealthy Seductress and my relationships, as a result, were unfulfilling, often dramatic and always inauthentic. I played out roles of perfect daughter, perfect girlfriend, finally perfect wife...exhausting in the extreme...and which finally imploded after an affair led to divorce and then a turbulent 4 year relationship with the man I left my husband for.
Alone for the first time in my adult life, with no idea who I was, and at rock bottom, I finally realized the havoc my unhealthy sexual energy had wrought in my life. Unaware at this time that there was a healthy way to use this energy, and filled with even more shame and guilt, I shut it down completely. It wasn’t until I began my work with Kundalini Yoga and Tantra that I came to understand that Sexual Energy, in its healthy state EMPOWERS us, creating Life-Force, Radiance and the safety within our relationships for intimacy and deep connection to blossom.
Experiencing this transformation allowed me to shed the guilt and shame, which brought me such freedom and peace, and the healthy, deeply loving and intimate relationship with my Beloved that I wished for. In our society so little is known or spoken of regarding the healing power of Sexual Energy.
My life experiences of transforming my greatest Shadow into my Super Power, my professional training and my service as a Teacher and Coach have all conspired in creating my life mission - to share this knowledge with other women and couples, so that they too can experience the gift of embodying their Sexual Power and owning their Pleasure.